Hi readers I would like to share with you my own journey of faith. What lead me to be a Christian the types of things I have experienced and how I ended up like i'am. I was raised in a Christian home although my grandma (who raised me) did not attend church but usually watched it on tv. I used to join her and I was pretty good at keeping up with praying when I was young kid. Somewhere between me being a kid and a teenager I lost interest in Christianity and i'm not sure how or why. I all of a sudden did not pray as much or bothered my self with any church at all.
My lack of faith continued with me to my adult years when I finally left my grandma's house and got my own place. I went through some tribulations and drama when I left my grandma's house and I was pretty much on my own to face it all. My grandma got mad because I took a friend in who lost their place and was about to be on the streets so when I went through tough times I was pretty much on my own. I don't know if any of you have had your family saying they want nothing to do with you and you do not know why but it is very sad and heartbreaking. Through all of this I managed to hold on to my place and my job but I think all the stress started the health problems I developed later on. I remember my grandma the only family I had quit talking to me close to Thanks Giving. Those holidays was sad for me and I would have spent them alone if my roommates family did not have me come to be with them but I did not feel welcomed there because a lot of them was wondering what is he doing here? he has his own family. Christmas day it was raining I went out to the rain and broke down in tears.
January rolled around me and my grandma starts talking again things are ok until she gets mad because she started with the I did not get nothing for Christmas or you did not get me an elaborate gift for my birthday. She ended up starting drama a bit before my birthday in March which was my worst birthday ever and I will never forget it. She did not even call except to tell me "I forwarded a piece of mail that came here by mistake have fun with it".On top of this one of my friends and her family had a falling out and I was still sore from that.
July rolls around and I make new friends and they seem interesting and like good people. It was something I felt I needed because of me feeling like I hit the bottom emotionally. These friends talked to me about Wicca and it caught my interest. I got really into it tarot,Ouija,reading up on the Wicca faith, and reading on rituals the whole works. For the first time I had a good group of friends and felt that sense of belonging I searched for. I started to get real attached to material things. I had to have the latest clothes,latest games,and whatever else I could buy. I even bought stuff for my friends including bikes. I thought yeah i'm living it up.
Things started to get tough financially hours got cut at work and all of sudden I had a hard time even making basic needs. I still kept spending and having with out much of a care. I became a non believer in god and said the bible was just another man made book and god did not create the world. I would argue these points to anyone my family,my roommates family,and any christian. I developed a real heartened heart over my family and my ex friends family. I did not care what anyone thought I got arrogant and said to many "Christianity is false I do it all on my own no help,no god there can not be a god with what I went through".
That Christmas I had a turn around of faith I had a vision through out the early morning it spoke to me God I felt told me that Christmas morning "my son died for you and you have been ungrateful". I woke up feeling saddened I fell to my knees and prayed for the first time in many years. This was my turn around I lost my attachment to material things over the next few months I even started to attend church on a regular basis. Several months after attending church and reading the bible I learned forgiveness and forgave those that I had grudges with. I had some people not to happy with my new found faith I had some "friends" leave over me being a Christian and that is fine if they did not want to accept me as i'am I felt they was not true friends.
Now that I look back the drama and grudges back then it was so silly. Also I do not understand why I had such an attachment to material things other than I feel I was trying to fill a void left by my family. I was searching for things to distract me from life from and all the pain. I was searching in the wrong areas though I kept buying material things but my happiness was very temporary. I accumulated lots of debts from my shopping sprees now I wonder why did I waste time and money with all this stuff?
I hope you guys enjoyed reading! As much as I enjoyed sharing with all of you. I thank God for all the friends who have stuck with me and continue to encourage me through the journey of life.